


Nature's Gift

by knghtmar44 (April_H)



Category: The Professionals
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted bonding by unwanted sentinel, M/M, Romance, Sentinel Fusion, Sentinel/Guide Bonding, Violence, Zine: Secret Agent Men 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-19 23:58:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8229151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/April_H/pseuds/knghtmar44
Summary: Are heightened senses a gift or a curse? Ray Doyle has a definite opinion on that score.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Secret Agent Men 12 story, which won best Pros slash story from MediaWest Con 2010 FanQ Awards. 2010 Fan Q Winner of Best Pros Slash zine.
> 
> Many thanks to Kat and Alayne for their suggestions that immensely improved this story.
> 
> Any comments on this story would be appreciated. I hope the story entertains.

**Excerpt from a front page article in The Daily Telegraph**  
**London**  
**14/04/1980**

**Recently, scientists have made numerous startling breakthroughs in the field of genetics leading to the identification of several human genes believed to have been extinct. One such discovery has located a dormant gene, which controls human senses. Humans possessing this active gene have their senses heightened, evolving into what is known as a sentinel. The sentinel serves the tribe becoming a protector, leading his or her clan in security issues and food collection among other important tasks. Various versions of the condition have been reported with the sentinel displaying only one sense to all five senses enhanced.**

**Another dormant gene identified belongs to another group of individuals called the sentinel’s companion. Little documentation has survived to explain this person’s capacity other than an enhanced empathic skill and an apparent genetic drive to protect the sentinel. Historically, it appears that the companion used these skills to protect the sentinel from sensory overload, generally called zoning or a ‘zone out’. Zoning occurs because too much sensory information hits the sentinel at once, effectively blanking them to the physical world.**

**Because of these discoveries, Whitehall has created a new government department called Sentinel Investigations 6 or SI 6 to deal with everything involved with sentinels and their companions.**

**These skills were important to the survival of ancient tribes. It has been suggested the recent reappearance of these genes in the human genome is in response to recent threats to survival all current civilisations face today. Modern security forces worldwide avidly express interest in these ancient abilities long believed lost to the shades of time.**

 

04/11/81

Angry looking clouds roil overhead, their grey-green colour casting the rebellious water below a murky dark hue. The crashing waves throw their might against the solid cliffs facing them, their attempts to overwhelm the land a challenge laid down in advance of the salty spray mixing with the first pregnant drops of rain falling from the sky. 

Near storm force winds carry the sea’s tears inland forcing me to lick brine off my chapped lips. Wind whips my coat loose from several buttons, exposing more of my skin to contact with the strengthening elements proclaiming Nature’s growing temper tantrum. Sheets of cold water suddenly rain down needle-sharp causing me to shudder, adding another miserable layer to my current situation. Yet I’m frozen in place with memories and unwanted images rushing through my mind. 

_He’s special! I didn’ screw up._

I offer silent thanks for the rain; moisture coats my face mixing with the tears that escape my mental control. For all the noise of the storm and sea around me, it amounts to nothing against the screams of rage and internal pain I fight to keep locked within. Introspective ideas scrabble past, the last couple of weeks muddle into a confusing mess of impressions including fear, anger, and hurt. 

_Ray Doyle, you’re an idiot for expectin’ anythin’ different._

I run my hand through my curly hair, the action a true hint of my anxiety levels. The movement causes my fingers to entangle with the soppy mess. A sharp jerk and a flash of pain crosses nerve endings once I pull my hand free. I look down, not surprised to see a few dark brown strands wound around the fingers of my right hand, drooping wetly toward the muddy ground.

A sharp blast of wind cuts deeply across exposed skin, the bite of arctic cold numbing my body. My coat pops loose from another button, slapping wildly in the surging winds. I grab the lapels of the soggy wool and pull it tightly closed. Common sense would entail heading for the structure just visible near the tree line a stone’s throw behind me. However, I’m feeling decidedly contrary and continue to gaze toward the north. 

I allow my sorrow expression; anguish with anger thickly interwoven bursts free of my tight control to burn strongly through me. I can’t escape facing the introspection of my memories concerning the start of… What do I call the moment: the Event, the life altering moment? I blink away more tears from my eyes. I digress though. The start of this ‘new chapter of my life’ brings such emotions boiling up. I’ve struggled to contain everything until I feel reasonably safe attempting to deal with them. Dare I finally allow my emotions to burn free? _Do I have time? Have I thrown my pursuit off long enough to regroup?_

Another blast of cold, rain-drenched wind hits, pushing hard enough that I need to take a half step back to retain my balance. Yesterday morning all the talk started in the nearby village concerning the arctic front moving across the Atlantic Ocean, the locals moving with quiet efficiency in their preparations for winter’s first gale. 

My own turbulent mood deepens in step with the approaching storm until my emotions force me outside to walk the cliff’s edge near my small rented cottage. Frustration hammers against my control, burning through me screaming for release until I can barely contain the desire to throw my head back and howl at Nature. _Why!_ I want to shout at her. _Why curse **me?** What good will these abilities do anyone? _

A brief abating of the storm strokes my face, a calmer breath of wind crossing my skin to lift a few lingering curls away from my face. The gentle touch does nothing to appease the emotions cutting through my soul. “ **Why!** ” I scream against the gusting wind, unable to contain my fury any longer. I bend my body nearly in half striking both clenched fists against my thighs. Another more dangerous emotion struggles for expression now that anger has broken through my mental stranglehold: grief. “Why,” I mumble, straightening slowly upright, my chin tight against my chest. Another strong push of near gale-force winds my only answer I turn away from the churning water to head for shelter.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Winds batter at the shutters protecting the small house I’ve let. After I faced the fact I had to leave London, I deliberated running to one of my usual locations, but CI 5 knew most of them. The ones CI 5 didn’t discern, Bodie did. Forced to improvise, I headed for Scotland, south and east of Durness. After the ‘treatments and training’ I endured over the days the new sentinel department detained me, I found urban life claustrophobic. The press of humanity strained my fragile controls over the newly awakened **gift** , leaving my skull pounding in reaction. I rushed through my plans, struggling to contain my newborn empathic skills, working extremely hard to keep everyone out of my head. The pressure of limited time forced quick decisions and quicker actions to insure my exit from the local scene.

I roomed with a lanky young man during my art school days. Mark Kerrogh constantly talked about this bit of land jutting out between the Atlantic Ocean and Loch Eriboll. He would reminisce with obvious enjoyment about all the times spent on his gran’s place located generally west of here. For some reason, Mark’s description of the area surfaced within my memory providing a direction for my escape. I believed Bodie would expect me to try for the continent, escaping into crowded France, so I did the opposite. My partner accuses me of being contrary just for irritation’s sake. Hopefully my decision proves a tactically sound move and not just another stab of obstinacy. 

I give my wet hair one final rub with the towel then I let it drop onto my shoulders. The drawn, damp face staring back at me in the mirror reveals the face of a stranger. The long curls I’m used to seeing have been severely cut, leaving a mess to coil raggedly against my scalp. I took the time prior to leaving London to dye my hair a sable brown, almost the colour of my partner’s dark hair. The brief thought of Bodie brings a grimace of pain to my features. I watch my reflection slide into an expression I’d hoped never to see, void of emotion, the green eyes in the mirror reflecting little back, flat and dim in colour and intent. It scares me to watch it, though the face does represent my inner mood.

_Why, Bodie? Why turn on me?_

 

I warm a can of stew on the Aga and then dish my meal into a bowl. Hands cupping the bowl, I blow across the top of the hot food. I carry it toward the crackling fire burning pleasantly in the wood stove squatting across the open room. The recently lit fire begins to radiate heat into the room competing against the cold arctic blasts blustering inland. Nature throws her first strong blast of winter against the sturdy land. Inside the cottage, I’m comfortable and safe – for now.

I stir my spoon through the stew, then take a small bite. Though unappealing, I should eat, if only to stop the steady weight loss I’ve endured over the last fortnight. Slow steps bring me back toward the corner kitchen, my unease growing stronger, some sense of apprehension teasing against my nerves, making me feel jumpy. I mumble to myself in frustration, not understanding my growing foreboding but I do listen to the silent warning. I glance at the uneaten food, then place the bowl on the dining table abandoned. I move further into the kitchen, stopping long enough to pick up a blanket I’d laid across the back of one of the wobbly dining chairs that morning then wrap it around my shoulders. Glancing around the dimly lit cottage, I scan across my small living space trying to reason out the warning singing steadily louder within me. 

Sink and kitchen cabinets to my right, table in front of me with the main door several strides away securely locked. To my left the flickering fire in the stove offers the only light within the room with two battered easy chairs, a small end table with a lamp, and an overly soft sofa forming a small living area. My bedroom amounts to a rumpled double bed shoved against the wall to the left of the stove. Barely visible beyond the bed, a dark doorway hints at another room – one necessary if I don’t want to take care of nature’s business outside in the wilds. 

The storm whips the winds strongly around the chimney, causing the hot fire to flare up, casting flickering shadows to dance through the room. I stop next to the Aga hoping the warmth from the cooker will soak through the steady cold that’s filled me since my initial capture in London. Sliding slowly down the wall, I settle securely into the corner behind the dinner table, with my back nestled snugly against the end cabinet. The location gives me the best view of the two shuttered windows and the main door of the small cottage. 

The welcome heat soaks slowly into my body, relaxing muscles that have been strung tight for too long. I shrug the blanket off my shoulders, afraid to let myself sink too deeply into fatigue. No normal, sane person would be about on a night like this. However, I’m doubtful my pursuers will react rationally, they’re so intent on my recapture. I shift position again, trying for a mixture of readiness and comfort. I’m nearly positive something will occur tonight. The unwanted mental skill hammers incessantly inside my skull adding its warning to the touch of the Irish within my blood, demanding my attention **now**. Danger approaches tonight so I hope I’m prepared for whatever problems surface. 

I let my eyes slide closed. The table and chairs serve as a barrier should anyone attempt to breach the door. My location won’t be visible for those first few important seconds I’ll require should anyone come calling unexpectedly. I can only hope. I need to kip down, even if it’s only drowsing, rather than the deeper stage of sleep that I require to recharge. _Jesus, don’t let me sleep too deeply. Not yet…_

 

The wooden door slams hard against the wall casting a loud crash through the cottage. I jerk awake, but don’t move otherwise, trying to gain control over my rabbiting heartbeat. The blanket I grabbed earlier drapes across my right shoulder flowing down my chest to pool over my thighs. _Can’t toss it off. Not yet…_ I end up slouched deeper into the dark corner of the kitchen / dining area. A crack of lightning fills the sky with white light, briefly illuminating a tall human-shaped form standing silently in the doorway. Seconds later, the intruder moves into the shadow filled room with graceful purpose. I glance carefully to my left noting the stove’s fire appears muted, the wood I stoked earlier having burned down to sullen red coals. _I napped three or four hours? Not enough sleep, but better than nothing._

A slight scuffing sound moving to my left hints at the intruder’s location as he cautiously passes the dining table. I had feared he would zero in on my location within moments of entry, but he continues onward. _An unbonded sentinel?_ Another boom of thunder follows a jagged strike of lightning crossing the dark sky. _Ahh, he’s afraid of zoning._ He probably has his sense controls adjusted down to near human levels until the storm passes. Smart in a way, but not if he wants to tackle me. Now the odds have evened out between us. Makes me wonder what background information the government told my hunters about me. 

Every few minutes, the lightning flashes illuminate the interior of my little cottage, giving me a flash bulb view of the man’s progress. The construction of the room makes it easier to keep track of my intruder’s search. The bits of furniture occupy strategic locations, making it comfortable, but easier to defend – or escape if necessary. The man slowly walks across the room using a standard searching method. I watch him stop near the middle of the room, then complete a careful turn to examine the room.

I cautiously crack the lid on these new skills unwillingly awakened within me. I stare through the darkness, mentally attempting to touch my intruder along the invisible empathic thread I can sense. The man’s nervous excitement flares brightly. Unfortunately the unique ‘ping’ I’ve learned to recognise because of the enforced lessons also strongly surrounds my intruder. _So, he **is** a sentinel._ I still find it distracting to feel **things** from those around me. I’ve become better at shielding them out, but the guy broadcasts his excitement so strongly, it sounds like he’s shouting aloud. It’s the darker emotions I sense underneath that make me feel unclean and queasy – and furious.

This sentinel’s going to find himself disappointed. I won’t let him claim **me**.

The man stands in the shadows to my left, waiting for any movement toward what he probably considers the best escape route – the door. Luckily I have other options arranged. Two windows offer potential escape from the house. The one window in the left corner of the house I ignore because it’s too close to my intruder. The other window occupies the area over the sink in the kitchen area. Both windows have outside shutters latched over them, but I can break through them given enough momentum. 

A third option would consist of a quick dash for the open door across the room. _I refuse to do that._

Another jagged streak of lightning flashes with violent intensity across the night’s sky lighting the room. The brief seconds of brilliant illumination reflect across the panelled walls and wooden door, offering a potential weapon to use against the young man. Caught unaware by the thunder or lightning, either could dazzle the sentinel’s senses, possibly throwing him into a zone. The rain splashing through the open door and the growing puddle of water collecting on the stone entryway in front of the door offers possible distraction. An unexpected bright flash of reflected light or a slip on wet stone might aid my escape.

I glance sideways being careful not to move my head too fast, keeping my opponent in sight. I slowly ease the blanket away from my body, pulling it minutely to my right until it lays discarded beside me. I regret the lost warmth it offers, but I know I’ll need freedom of motion very soon.

As the man moves closer I can see he’s not much taller than I am, though he appears bulkier. I’ve had enough training sessions against Bodie so that shouldn’t make any difference. Realising I’m threat-assessing for take down makes my choice concerning this encounter pretty obvious. To hell with running – I want to pound the guy into the ground. _My years with CI 5 made a deeper impression than I thought_. I smile grimly.

I watch the shadowy figure turn partially toward the back wall. I assume he’s checking the corners prior to presenting his back to possible attack. Once the intruder focuses elsewhere, I ease my legs under me and stay crouched in the corner. I’ve adjusted the angle on the guy so I’ll be fronting him after he makes it around the remaining furniture. I attempt to use my hated **gift** or my own purposes and open my abilities a little more to gain a sense of my adversary’s feelings. 

If I attempted to explain how this ability works, I’d have to say picture a garden hose. If you pinch off the rubber, closing down the flow of water you control how much volume comes out the end. Releasing pressure increases volume. Easy… except for the limited amount of time I’ve managed to apply to understanding how to control my gift. I found it more important to appear normal within sight of crowds in addition to making my escape. 

So, I ease the stranglehold on my mental talent and let in a steady thread of impressions. Emotions flood over me with a dominant flavour of adrenaline-fuelled aggression overriding pretty much everything the intruder feels. Underneath that swirls feelings of lust, the urge grows to release predatory hunting desires, to run the prey to ground and dominate it. _Too much!_ I let my eyes close for a moment, my muscles involuntarily tightening in reaction to the strength of everything roiling over me. I compel myself to take a slow easy breath and wrap internal hands round that imaginary hose to squeeze it closed. Stubbornness adds strength to my will and the flood of emotion markedly decreases.

I ease my eyes open and make a final decision: fight.

The moving shadow denoting my hunter suddenly stops, frozen in position facing my location. He’s only about the length of the small dining table away from me - an easy distance for him to cover yet he hesitates. My eyes narrow in feral satisfaction. So, he does know something of me after all. I feel a thread of fear weaving among the man’s other emotions. Good.

“I claim you.”

He can’t be more than twenty years old going by the timbre of the kid’s voice. “You ‘ave to be kidding!” I reply my indignation at the conceited appraisal of the situation colouring my voice.

“You’re mine,” the young man states, though his voice wobbles on the last word, revealing insecurity and nerves.

“You can try,” I avow in return, determined to teach this pup not to assume anything concerning me.

A faint grumble of annoyance from the young sentinel carries my only warning ahead of his rush forward. I instantly choke off the empathic line, leaving a slender trickle of sensation open, wanting limited distractions to interfere with the fight. I quickly surge to my feet, hands ready to grab. A quick flash of surprise leaks through to me from the man. _Guess he didn’t expect a fight._ I bare my teeth in a feral grin at the idea about the same time that I connect with my clenched right fist into the younger man’s stomach. Quick steps to the left then I duck an uncoordinated grab for my arm. I throw a jab into his kidney area with my left fist, drawing a gasp of pain from him, then a swift strike at his chin with my cupped right hand. 

The hunter yells at me in surprise and pulls far enough away that he escapes most of the strength from my take down punch. He takes a step back and plants his back foot, hands loose and ready for my next move. “Come on, Doyle. I’m not that easy to defeat,” he affirms angrily. Lightning crackles overhead, lighting the interior of the cottage with another stroke of bright light. 

I throw a quick snap kick toward his chest, which he slaps away. The sentinel blinks rapidly a few times trying to clear his vision from that last flash. _Yeah, those senses are a bitch._ I follow my kick quickly with another punch. The young man staggers off balance, attempting to evade me. Rapidly escalating fear mixes with surprise at my apparent ease in dealing with his attacks. The emotional mix leaks through my shields, giving me a slight edge during the encounter. I push my advantage and take a quick step forward to lock my ankle behind his back leg, then throw another hard left punch into his ribs, sending the young hunter to the ground. 

My opponent thrusts a quick kick at me trying to drive me away long enough to rise, but I close on him wanting this encounter finished. Another hard blow to the side of the head stuns the younger man, and then I quickly flip him onto his stomach, wrap my forearm around his throat, and plant my knee in his back. I need to decide whether to simply strangle him into unconsciousness or take him out. I’m a bit afraid to experience someone’s death now that I’ve ‘turned on’ so to speak, so I maintain my choke hold on the young sentinel until I feel him pass out in my arms. I let him drop to the floor unconscious and stagger back. 

“Shit,” I gasp, leaning one arm against the table for support while sucking in a couple of deep breaths. I look around for something to restrain my opponent then spy my pack near the door. _‘Ave to do better than that, ole son or they’ll drag you back to London by your balls._ I quickly dig the nylon rope out, hurrying back to thoroughly hog-tie my unwanted prisoner.

I jerk upright, startled by slow, steady clapping that suddenly echoes from the doorway. A very familiar silhouette fills the entrance blocking any escape I might want to make.

“Excellent job, Ray, knew you’d take him.” The strong, much loved voice of my partner, Bodie, fills the house. “Now what’s your plan, swimming across the Atlantic to Iceland?” My partner moves carefully into the house, his voice filled with sarcasm, taunting me. He reaches for the door and gently latches it, then locks it behind him.

I flex in preparation to moving, then freeze, surprised by Bodie growling, “Don’t.” 

_Shit!_

“What do you want, Bodie?” I snarl, my anger growing. My partner steps away from the door, moving casually into the room as if he owns it. 

“This and that… You more sociable would be appreciated,” he replies, leaning down to click on the table lamp sitting between two chairs on the other side of the cottage.

I blink at the sudden light, even though the light only casts a small circle of illumination near the chairs. I ease backwards a couple of steps, putting distance between Bodie, the unconscious sentinel on the floor, and myself. I look my partner over, noting the wet, glistening dark hair, the black, form-fitting clothing, down to the ebony coloured leather hiking boots covering Bodie’s feet. I look him in the eye, feeling a flush of pleasure when I gaze at the handsome features. I watch him ease into the chair behind him; all the while his gaze continues to drill through me. 

Dare I chance using this cursed new ‘gift’ on Bodie? I can’t afford becoming distracted with my partner so close, yet I need information on how he might react. I take the chance and release the stranglehold on my gift for the count of five. I hope that will give me enough information to concoct a counter against whatever Bodie has planned. 

I relax the mental lock on my gift, which bang off surges outward. The feelings of concern mixed with relief hit me with the greatest strength. Smaller surges of annoyance filter through with a surprising thread of jealousy, which I don’t really understand. _What the ‘ell could he be jealous about?_ I struggle with my control briefly then manage to close the sense down to manageable levels. Bodie shifts suddenly, jangling my nerves. I’m feeling decidedly skittish having my partner here.

“Relax, Ray. I’m not going to bite… yet,” Bodie’s voice soothes, his dry humour obvious. “Come on, sit down and talk to me.”

Damn, I’d almost think Bodie read my mental state. How could that be possible?

“Don’t want to sit down,” I grumble, not believing this gentle, pleasant version of my partner for one minute. “What’s there to talk about?” My voice rings with my challenge. I take another step back, moving away from the table for a clear shot to the front door. If I can get a decent jump, I should be able to exit the door prior to Bodie grabbing me.

“Don’t even think about it.” Bodie’s voice purrs as smooth as velvet, making me hesitate instinctively.

 _Damn it!_ I flinch as Bodie’s voice interrupts my hope of escape. I glance back at him, admiring the self-confidence and innate magnetism even as I hate my own internal reaction to him. “I’ll think what I like, mate,” I snarl, anger spiking through my sarcasm. “I refuse to let you control how or what I think and feel!” I ease back another step, moving deeper into the kitchen shadows. It probably won’t help, but I’m running low on ideas to slip away.

“Right, take it easy.” Bodie continues to watch me, by all appearances still calm. “‘M not goin’ to let you out. At least not until we talk.”

I refuse to take the chance on trusting this presented façade. Not after what happened after SI 6 squads showed at CI 5 and hauled several of us away. I watch Bodie’s head rise slightly, which causes me to tense even more. The motion looks bloody familiar to me. It marks a sentinel scenting for clues as clear as shouting. 

“Stop it!” I shout at Bodie, drawing further away from him until my back hits the kitchen corner I sat in earlier. “Don’t do that, Bodie.” For the first time I actually feel fear rising – because of my partner’s presence. The circumstances make me want to cry.

“All right, take it easy, Ray.” Bodie leans forward in the chair and raises his hand slowly, palm up. “Not doing anything. Just calm down.”

Did he think that would quiet my racing heart? I almost cough on a laugh at the absurdity of his words. “Know exactly what you’re doin’. You’re tryin’ to scent me. So bloody stop it!”

“Ray…” Bodie begins to speak, but I interrupt him.

“Shut up! I haven’t forgotten our last meeting. You think I’d forget you almost raping me?” I shout at Bodie, my emotions blowing completely over the top. _Take a breath; don’t lose control._

“Come on, sunshine. That wasn’t my fault. If that other guy hadn’t been there, things would have been different. Lost control, didn’t I. No way I’d let him claim you, not with me nearby!” Bodie yells back, surging quickly upright. 

“So you go all feral, kill the guy, then start in on me! Whose fault is it then?” I watch Bodie slowly advance toward me and tense for another fight. I slip carefully around the table, moving counter to Bodie, determined to keep the table between us as Bodie draws closer.

“That’s one of the questions we need answers to. We need to deal with the mess together, like we always have.” Bodie leans against the table, the gaze trained on me sharp as he stares hotly at me. It reminds me of a predator watching prey in advance of its attack. 

“I don’t want to hurt you, mate, but I will if I have to,” I warn, pacing my partner around the table. Once I gain another step or two, I can make a dash for the door. He’ll have to go round the table before he can attempt to grab me. By then I should be out the door and running into the woods surrounding the cottage. It’s not much of a plan, but it’s all I have.

I lead Bodie a few more steps in our little dance then sprint for the door. A roar of denial screams behind me. Bodie yells my name and I can hear him closing behind me. _Damnit, open!_ I pull on the knob but the door sticks and I end up ramming my nose against the doorframe because of my forward momentum. I jerk the lock open then give the knob another quick jerk, managing a hand’s width opening to appear. Suddenly a solid weight hits me in the back propelling my whole body to impact against the door, forcing the narrow opening I’d managed completely closed.

“No, I don’t think so, sunshine,” Bodie’s voice whispers seductively as he presses my shoulders firmly against the door.

“Get off me, Bodie!” I yell angrily, determined to ignore the irritation I feel against my face from my left cheek pressing against the cottage wall. I feel the storm pounding against the cottage walls, the winds driving the rain and sleet hard against my shelter. Cold leaches through the solid door, making me shiver. 

“Okay, Ray. Let’s warm you up,” Bodie baits, flexing closer. 

Hard muscle leans firmly against me until my partner plasters himself against my body from shoulders to thighs. Strong hands have a determined grip around my wrists, pressing my arms strongly against the door on either side of my head. I feel Bodie sniffing through my hair and behind my left ear. I hunch my shoulders, trying to discourage the action. “Don’t, please. I don’t want this,” I state firmly, fighting to contain the rising fear as my pulse pounds through my frame.

“Why fight it? We were partners previous to all this. We already have a faint bond, as friends and occasional lovers. Nothing has to change between us.”

I push sharply back, trying to pull free of the confining hug. “What bond? What’re you talkin’ about? Partners, yes, before SI 6 stepped into our lives. I’m not sure where our friendship stands right now.” I work to regulate my breathing, striving to calm myself down. I’ll not win free from Bodie if I’m not in control of myself. “Nobody’s goin’ to dominate me. I refuse to give up control, even to you.” I feel warm weight push me back against the door, then a gentle breath puffs against my ear.

“I don’t want to control you. I simply refuse to let anyone else bond with you.” 

A soft brush of lips cross the shell of my ear, then Bodie whispers, “You know we already have a bond. I just want to expand it.” Another kiss ghosts across my cheek in an unusual display of affection from my partner.

 _A bond already exists?_ I ease open my gift, but turn it upon myself instead of outward. I feel my pulse beat slowly calming. The new viewpoint highlights recent events differently; I can finally observe the turmoil dominating my life, colouring my every action and thought. _No wonder I’ve been predictable enough to find_. Decisions made under the influence of fear lead to choices chosen in error. But where could the bond be that Bodie’s so sure about? I release a thread of empathy, letting it drift toward my partner. _I’ll be damned._ A wire-thin strand coming from Bodie encounters my slender thread. Once they meet, they merge into one line, fragile but beautiful. New possibilities concerning my partner surface with this new insight. Breath puffing across my neck brings my attention back to my current surroundings.

“You have a choice to make, sunshine. If you don’t link with me, then they’ll make you join with one of the other sentinels waiting for partners.”

“No!” I buck against Bodie’s strong grip, my fear building again as I imagine another stranger trying to force me to bend to his control. I refuse to become a second class citizen just because the government thinks they have a new power to control.

“Yes. You have to make a choice. Now. I don’t want to force you, but they will. You know they will.”

Bodie opens his hands and carefully moves back a step, freeing me from physical contact. I gulp a deep breath and forcefully master my fear. I turn round and stare at my partner for several long seconds, thinking about what he just said. _Now? Why now?_

“What do you mean, now? Why do I have to decide anything now?” I lean back against the door and watch Bodie as he visually searches me from head to toe. I recognize the sexual heat in the look, but I’m also aware of more emotions than I’d imagined coming from my self-contained friend. It makes me pause in surprise.

“Sorry, sunshine. Though I had a general feeling you went north, I couldn’t narrow it down any further. How the boy knew where you were, I don’t know, but he seemed to. So, I followed him.” Bodie gestures with his thumb to the unconscious body on the floor. “However, several teams of SI 6 crew also followed him out here.” I watch Bodie’s head tilt slightly and a frown growing between those unique eyebrows as an intense look of concentration fills his face. “There’re about a dozen people settling in a short distance from the cottage. They seem content to wait, for now. But I don’t know how long that’ll last.” 

“I don’t have a choice, do I?” I ask my partner. His shrug pretty much answers that question, though.

I raise my hand slowly toward Bodie, tracing my fingertips down a bristly cheek. “It’s not you, sunshine, it’s the fear of losing control over my life I’m fighting.” I take a deep breath and allow my new-found talent to spread out. I can’t really absorb any new data to make a decision. _Damn this touchy talent._ “Do we have enough time to attempt a bonding or will our unwanted guests outside interfere before we can finish.”

“No way to know. All we can do is try.”

“Okay.” I take a deep breath and push off the door. The room feels chilly as the cooling stove competes against the winter storm pushing onto the coast. “Let me put more wood on the fire. Don’t want it going out or it’ll get frigid in here.” I give Bodie a small smile and step passed him to handle our heating issues. 

I can feel Bodie’s gaze following me as I move. The intensity of his desire feels so strong – I feel it even with my gift locked down. Can I let this happen, considering what happened last time we were together? I need a moment without distraction to think. _Hmmm, distraction. Yes._

“Think you can barricade the door so we’re not disturbed?” I ask my partner and glance at him over my shoulder as I squat in front of the little stove.

“Sure,” Bodie replies, walking over to grab one of the kitchen chairs to brace under the locked doorknob.

Heat begins to grow as the fire flares around the fresh fuel. I’m finally ready to allow the memories from the past fortnight to surface. First one then another sentinel tries to force me to the concrete floor to bond, driving my pulse into a pounding frightened pace. I knew SI 6 was planning to throw multiple sentinels at me to secure a merging, but I didn’t expect them all at once! An unidentifiable noise rises from the kitchen area and a thread of worry follows it. “I’m okay, Bodie. Just dealing with memories.”

“Hmm,” Bodie grunts, continuing to fiddle with the chair. 

I feel a warm glow over Bodie’s obvious attempt to give me a little uninterrupted time to think. Guess it’s time to review the event that started my dash for freedom. I hope both of us can handle the emotional storm that’ll result from my introspection. 

I remember breaking free from the first two sentinels only to find another one surging through the room’s door. I close my eyes, shutting out the view of the fire in front of me and take the opportunity to shift through the memories I’ve dodged over the last several days. 

Memories grow clearer as I let myself remember. The two men on the ground began to fight each other. I don’t understand why they attacked each other instead of finishing the fight with me. I’m just thankful they did because a third man joined the skirmish, rushing into the room quicker than I would have believed possible. The impressions made in those few seconds were of a large, brutish man, with short blond hair then he’s on me, his large hand reaching out to grab. 

I take a deep breath and think back to that awful day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _Damn, he’s big_. I dance back, escaping quick capture by a hair’s breadth. _Shit, the guy’s fast_. The door stands open for a few heartbeats. However, before I can attempt to reach it, someone on the other side pulls it closed, the click of the lock pretty much overshadowed by the noise of the fighting occurring within the room. 

Bullyboy rushes me, trying to wrap muscular arms around me. I quickly step out of reach and throw a strong snap kick into the man’s ribs. He doesn’t react. It feels like I’ve just hit a brick wall. _Bloody hell!_ The burly sentinel keeps his eyes centred on me, the intensity of his gaze making me nervous. I circle away from the fight going on in the middle of the room, hoping my opponent won’t succeed in trapping me against the wall. The thug rushes in again, his hands reaching out to grab hold. I throw several punches to his stomach and face, then take a chance with a kick instead of moving away. Big mistake… 

The kick to bullyboy’s knee only partially connects, barely slowing him down. The big sentinel manages to wrap one huge hand round my forearm. I hear the growl of hostility escape from my opponent as I throw another hard punch into his face, connecting with his nose. The crackle of breaking cartilage is loud over the noise of the fight beyond us, quickly followed by the sudden gush of bright blood spilling down his face and dropping onto his shirt. I pull back trying to jerk my arm loose, then follow the restraining movement back toward the big sentinel, aiming for his throat in a permanent take down manoeuvre. The sentinel slips his upper body slightly to my left, moving enough that my blow impacts against his shoulder instead of the more delicate throat. 

The burly blond quickly wraps his other hand in my hair and pulls me against his body, trapping my free arm between us. “Bloody hell,” I snarl, “Let go before I pound you into the ground!” 

Deep rumbling words ghost passed my ear as the man speaks against the side of my face. “You’re mine, little man.” 

My anger boils, ready to explode as bullyboy twists his hand deeper into my hair, pulling my head back to expose my throat. _Who does this guy think he is!_ Teeth nip sharply against the skin running under my left ear. The man mumbles, “Co-operate and I might let you enjoy this.” 

“When ‘ell freezes over.” I feel him nip lower on my throat, then run his tongue across my skin. I jerk violently against his grip, angry beyond words, as contrary to my efforts, the guy simply increases his grip in my hair and pulls me tightly against him.

I let him take my weight, shift my legs slightly, and sightlessly aim a blow at his ankles with my foot. 

I feel arsehole skip away from the blow, but it doesn’t make him release his hold. He grumbles something unintelligible, most probably a curse at me then demands, “Behave little man. I don’t want to break your arm.”

“Let go, you bloody shit!” I snarl.

“Now, now,” the large sentinel sneers, “you shouldn’t ‘ave said that, my pretty.” He jerks on my hair, pulling me more off balance. “I’m goin’ to enjoy taming you.”

“The hell you are,” a recognisable voice insists behind us, the accent very familiar to me under any circumstance.

The blond sentinel pushes me violently away then spins to face his new opponent. I hit the wall hard, momentarily stunned causing pain to flare brightly along my right shoulder and upper back. Hopefully I don’t end up with anything broken because of this. I glance up from my sprawl to see bullyboy facing off against Bodie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I return to the present no longer squatting in front of the fire but sitting on the floor, my legs pulled close to my chest. Bodie’s pressed his solid bulk against my back, his arms tight around my chest, with his chin resting gently on the top of my head offering comfort. I feel shivers racing through me, like I stepped outside without a coat to protect me from the frigid temperatures. Fatigue pulls insistently on what little reserves I have left.

“Ray, you with me?” 

I hear Bodie’s worry for me in his quiet tone. That worry makes me wonder how often my name’s been repeated in an attempt to catch my attention. The warmth retreats from my back slightly then gentle fingers slide into my hair, stroking through the strands as well as massaging across my scalp in a soothing stroke. 

“Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“You okay?”

I take a deep breath and shake my head slightly. “No.” I take another deep breath but this time a hitch escapes, highlighting my fragile emotional control. Several deep breaths beat my tears back, but just barely. Reviewing that moment in time has affected me more than I’d care to admit. “Bodie,” my voice sounds barely above a whisper. I feel totally washed out after holding myself together over the last few weeks. “Why’d they do that to me?” 

“Don’t know, sunshine,” Bodie replies. The stroking hand leaves my scalp and grasps me around the chest in a full body hug. Body heat soaks into my back from my partner’s close position behind me. “Won’t ever let that happen again.” A soft kiss brushes against my right temple. “Come on, Ray. Let’s get you into bed. You need rest. We’re safe for now.”

“For now, yeah. Okay.” The cold fills me deeply inside, making me shiver even with the vigorous fire crackling in the nearby stove. Hands lift me bodily from the floor until I find myself securely tucked against Bodie’s side. 

“Time for bed, sunshine. Let’s try and warm you up.” 

I shiver again as we move toward the bed. I can’t remember what warm feels like; I wonder if I ever will. Hands begin tugging at my buttons. “Leave off, Bodie. I can do it,” I snap, determined to undress myself. I rouse enough to pluck at the buttons, but they’re defeating me tonight.

“Do it then. Stop mucking about,” Bodie snipes back, hovering close by. 

I’m afraid I’m going to lose control of the situation if I don’t rein in my emotions. I’m just so tired. Limited sleep for far longer than is healthy has finally caught up with me. I welcome Bodie’s presence even if the relationship between us will change if we follow through with Bodie’s wishes. He’s guarded my back so long it’s routine to concede control if I’m not operating at normal levels. Figure in the fact that we have a friendly sexual relationship means I instinctively let Bodie handle guard duty while I recharge.

“Right, that’s enough,” Bodie states firmly, reaching to sweep my hands out of the way. His fingers firmly pop open buttons and snaps, pulling the fabric covering my body off with several distinct jerks. “Get on the bed.” 

I glance at my partner, noting the frown dominating his features. “What?” A full body shiver dances across my skin.

“Ray, lay down on the bed. You’ll catch your death standing there, you daft bugger.”

“Bossy bastard aren’t you?” I reply out of habit, settling heavily onto the edge of the bed. I feel the denim pulled roughly down my thighs, jerking me onto my back, then a loud double thud as my heavy boots hit the floor. The denim quickly follows as Bodie yanks my jeans off then drops them across the foot of the bed. 

Bodie manages to shift me into position with a bit of muscle. I feel the blankets settle around my body, trapping a little warmth against my skin. A silhouette blocks the dim light from the lamp across the room, making me jump in surprise.

“Easy, mate. It’s just me,” Bodie soothes, leaning down to stroke a hand across my shoulder. “Flashbacks bad, Ray?”

I give Bodie a stiff nod, yes, as he tucks me tightly into the bed, like a young child after a fright. I surprise myself by enjoying the sensation. My partner straightens up in the process of stepping away but I quickly reach out and grasp his hand. “Stay,” I whisper, hoping he’ll understand what I’m really asking. 

“Let me finish stoking the stove, then I’ll join you.” 

I watch my partner step away; my vision blurring as fatigue pulls me into a knackered kip.

~~~~~~~~~~

I’m standing, totally shocked as I watch the activity occurring in front of me. _That can’t be Bodie._ This person has a snarl on his face, his eyes practically glowing with feral light as he stares at the burly blond sentinel. I hear a deep guttural sound groan from one of the two standing men, causing my mouth to nearly drop open. I swear that noise came from Bodie, but how could it? I’ve never heard anything like that from my partner before. It worries me what could make Bodie sound like that.

I glance briefly toward the first two men that I fought, checking on their status. Both men lay stretched out on the floor, one still, unmoving. The other sentinel shows some life with slight movements of his head and arms. I doubt either man will figure in the events currently flaring up.

The sound of flesh hitting flesh pulls my attention back to the two men standing between the door and my escape. I see Bodie dodge a punch to his face, his body flowing fluidly to his left, opening an attack option against the bruiser. One punch lands against the blond’s stomach. He follows it with a quick kidney jab, then a roundhouse punch to the square jaw of the big sentinel. 

I watch the blond stumble back a step, letting his guard drop in his confusion. My partner stalks his target, throwing effective punches to the bullyboy’s stomach, chest and face with little interference. Bodie steps inside the sentinel’s guard, grabs a double handful of blond hair, then pulls the brute’s head down to impact my partner’s quickly rising knee. The crack of contact insures a potential take-down blow that should wipe out Bodie’s opponent. 

I ease steadily toward the door while the two men fight, hoping to arrive at the door without either man noticing my activities. My attention remains split between the hard battle and manoeuvring around any obstacles in my path. I’m sure Bodie will eventually win but with any luck I hope to ensure an escape route from this room by the time Bodie’s finishes off the mark. _Almost to the door_. I take a quick glance to see how my partner’s doing against bullyboy and freeze, my hand on the doorknob. I observe Bodie delivering a near perfect take down. Seeing him step in and lock his forearm around the blond’s neck totally shocks me. He gives the guy a hard squeeze then a sharp twist efficiently killing his opponent. _Why? He beats the crap out of the guy, only to kill him minutes later? Why kill him at all?_

Bodie stays crouched over the body for several seconds, his head down, his breathing heavy. Suddenly he looks up to stare at me with such an intense expression, I feel uneasy. I watch Bodie rise to his feet, all the while he continues staring, watching my every breath and shift of movement. I hate to admit it, but he’s scaring me with his intensity. I notice my partner takes a deep breath then rubs at his nose, as if bothered by something. 

_No, it can’t be. Not Bodie!_

I see him take another deep breath, only this time I see him scenting while he does it. He smells me, even with the distance between us! My partner can’t possibly be a sentinel, can he?

I take a step backward, pressing my back against the door as I watch Bodie step over the dead sentinel, his gait smooth and deadly as he stalks me. “Bodie? You know me, right?” The only response I receive amounts to a slight tilt of the head and a darkening scowl colouring Bodie’s features. _Shit!_

“Bodie?” I don’t receive any vocal response, which causes me to worry. 

Before I can so much as raise a hand, Bodie’s launches himself at me, effectively pinning me in place. “Let go!” I can feel his hands pulling at my shirt, the material tearing from the rough treatment. 

“Mine.”

I hear my partner snarl, his voice deeper and more aggressive than I’ve ever heard it. A final rough jerk finally causes the cotton shirt I’m wearing to rip loose, the seams splitting open until it literally falls off my shoulders. A rough grip grabs a handful of my hair. _Christ, not again._

“Submit. Mine.”

“Like hell that’ll happen,” I snap back, though I doubt Bodie can hear me. He seems distant, almost hypnotised by my physical presence. I grab the wrist of the hand wound in my hair, trying to force the grip loose by squeezing pressure points. Unfortunately I can’t get the right angle to make the hold work. 

With a quick manoeuvre, Bodie runs his left hand round my waist, succeeding in pinning us tightly together. A hard tug on my hair brings tears to my eyes. I push against his chest with my right hand, holding him partially off. I hear the bark of annoyance, as well as another jerk on my hair, which tells me Bodie doesn’t like me fighting him. He reaches up with his other hand, quickly pulls my wrist loose then pins it over my head.

Luckily, other than a headache he doesn’t seem to want to hurt me. 

I feel his leg thrust between mine, bringing tender anatomy into contact. _Shit, ‘ave to stop this_. Sudden sharp pain near my collarbone adds fuel to my struggles to escape my partner’s hold. He’s never treated me like this before.

“Jesus!” I glance down at my chest, noting the bite mark there. “You ditsy sod. Why are you doin’ this?”

The only answer I receive amounts to inarticulate muttering from Bodie. I feel him let go of my wrist. Fingers begin working to undo my belt buckle, trying to loosen the zip on my trousers. “Bloody hell, Bodie. Nothing doing!” Another sharp pain flares, this time on the side of my neck.

“You damn vampire. Quit biting!” An agile tongue licks a path from the last bite site to just beneath my left ear. I buck against the strength keeping me pinned, pushing against the broad chest. Bodie roars in annoyance, spinning us around so I don’t have any support at my back. Suddenly I’m free-falling backwards with thirteen stone of muscle and attitude following me down. The hand wrapped in my hair shifts round to cup the back of my head, I assume to protect my skull from impact with the hard floor. The collision with the ground knocks the breath from me. More important, it finally moves my partner enough I can gain purchase to move. I bring my knee up quickly, catching Bodie in the stomach rather than my intended target. A loud grunt of pain answers my attempt at freedom, but my partner refuses to release his hold. 

I throw a quick head-butt toward Bodie’s nose, hoping the shock will finally win my release. The roar of pain quickly blurs into a snarl of anger as Bodie uses the power and weight of his body to firmly pin me to the cold floor. A red swath across my partner’s right cheek tells me where my blow hit. I watch the anger fade from my partner’s features, giving his lust and need free expression now that the prize, me, finally lies within his grasp.

“No, Bodie. Not this way.” I hope I can reach my partner, buried under the instincts and drive of the wild sentinel.

The look that crosses Bodie’s face as he gazes upon me tells me I’ve failed. The sentinel has complete control over my friend. I feel fear because of Bodie for the first time in our partnership.

A crash of wood signals the door slamming against the wall. A familiar tall silhouette stands momentarily within the open doorframe before I recognise who I’m seeing. Cor, _Murph. Help!_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No!”

I struggle awake, feeling a growing soreness in my throat, not to mention a pounding pulse racing like a runaway train as I struggle to calm down. _Screaming in my sleep?_ I should probably feel embarrassment over my lack of control, but I just can’t dredge up the energy. I blink my eyes clear only to view the cottage where I’ve lived over the last fortnight. A gentle touch brushes across my shoulder, which tingles from the cool air skimming over bare skin and the light slide of skin against skin. I finally register a soothing noise murmuring against the back of my neck where lips brush as they move. The deep baritone sounds familiar, but I can’t seem to bring my mind to the task of identifying who it might be. Skin brushes against the back of my legs, buttocks, and back, the touches gentle and not challenging.

“Wha’s goin’ on?” I croak, wishing my mind would catch up with my body. 

“A dream. You okay, sunshine?” A hand rubs carefully through my hair, petting and massaging through the strands, offering support and grounding as I unravel the unsettling feelings my sudden awakening engenders.

“Guess so.” More of the dream becomes clear, making me tense at the close contact with Bodie. _Don’t want to be afraid of my partner._ But, I can’t stop my reaction.

“Relax, Ray. Must ‘ave been one ‘ell of a dream,” Bodie murmurs, his voice calm and low as his touch continues to lightly stroke my hair and shoulder.

“Bodie?”

“Hmmm?” 

“Would you ‘ave done it?” I find myself afraid to hear Bodie’s answer. The response my mate gives me determines the basis our partnership operates on – fear or trust. 

“Done what?” 

I don’t feel any tension or anxiety from the body tucked so comfortably against me. _Let’s see how long that lasts._ “What would’ve happened if Murphy hadn’t shown up?”

The hand petting my hair stops for a long moment then resumes. Bodie shifts slightly, bringing his body closer until we fit together skin to skin. Soft lips kiss the back of my neck in a small sign of affection. I remember other times Bodie would do this instead of saying the words lovers usually say.

“I don’t know, Ray. I’d like to think I would’ve stopped before hurtin’ you, but I can’t say for sure.” The arm Bodie has draped over my ribs rubs across my stomach in a vague pattern, more a nervous tick soothing the need to touch than anything else. “SI 6 did their worst to us both.” A heavy sigh whispers across my shoulder. I can feel the sorrow radiating from my partner over what we’ve endured. “In my right mind, you know I’d never hurt you. I have to believe no matter what damn instinct surfaces, that base response would never change.” The arm hugs me tightly around the waist. “I have to believe this, Ray. You’re too important to me. You have been for a long time.”

“You never said anything like that before,” I stumble through my reply, shocked by Bodie’s revelation. “I love you too.”

I feel his lips move against my neck as Bodie smiles. I wish he could say the words, but I know that’s a long time coming, if ever. He’s had too many betrayals and losses to easily open up, even to me.

I still feel uneasy, but… I’ve trusted Bodie over the years to guard my back. I guess I can trust him enough to bond. I ease onto my back and look him in the eyes. “I guess we’d better get on with this bonding thing then. Before SI 6 tries to play matchmaker again.” I stroke a light touch down my partner’s cheek, under his chin, to play lightly with my mate’s chest. “I hope you know what to do about this bonding stuff, cause I don’t.”

“Hmm, don’t really know either. The docs kept saying do what comes naturally, just make sure to seal it with sex.”

“That’s not what they said,” I huff, trying to wind my lover up a bit. 

“Okay, Einstein, what did they say?”

I stroke a fingernail across a nearby nipple, just a ghost of a touch then watch the reaction Bodie can’t contain. _He’s always been crazy about nipple play._ I smile sweetly at him, feeling more relaxed as we play and tease, just as we’ve done in the past. “The doctors said we’d know what to do once we started bonding.” I smirk at him as I add,” They also said for some, sex would help the bonding to progress to a satisfactory conclusion.”

“That’s what I said,” Bodie replies. I watch a pout pull at his mouth, drawing my attention almost totally to those delicious lips. I lean toward him, grabbing a quick taste of them, then press in again for more. I notice he’s breathing a bit faster than usual. “Sex helps to complete the process.”

“You just want to have sex, don’t you?” I tease. It’s marvellous to have this part of our relationship back again. I’ve missed talking, not to mention simply being with the man. The arseholes running the group who had grabbed us had kept Bodie and me isolated for over a fortnight. Bloody buggers. Why they were so determined to separate a team paired as long as we’ve been teamed I don’t understand. They should have expected resistance from us over their interference. All the psyche profiles we’ve tolerated through the years and the trouble we’ve endured to protect our partnership should have made our reactions obvious. Particularly since I know Cowley made note of our expanded relationship in our files. 

“You’re thinking too much.” 

My partner’s voice intrudes, bringing me back to more pleasant circumstances. “Sorry. Was wondering why.”

“Why what?” 

I hear a vague curiosity in Bodie’s voice. I don’t think he’s really listening to my words right now, just the tone of my voice. I know my lover has more important things on his mind than worrying about past events. 

I suddenly feel Bodie lean slightly away, drawing a sound of distress from me at the loss of warmth and feeling. 

“Right. Out with it, sunshine.” The intense look on my mate’s features informs me he’s serious about this.

“What?” 

“You didn’t answer me.” 

“I didn’t?” I sigh in pleasure after Bodie leans back into me, surrounding me with body heat and comfort. “Isn’t important. Later, okay? Talk later…” Strong fingers massage across my flesh, moving from my chest to my stomach, lingering over certain hot spots that draw obvious signs of my enjoyment of the tactile touches.

“Oh, yeah, Bodie,” I sigh in appreciation as my partner’s teasing tongue and gentle lips taste the skin on my chest, licking around my nipples and playing with my chest hair. I shift slightly, moving closer to the warmth radiating off Bodie. A hand begins tracing lines down my ribs, ghosting calluses across sensitive skin until I twitch away from the ticklish touch.

“Oi, don’t tickle,” I demand, though my voice purrs low and sultry, my desire already burning hot. “Come ‘ere, damn you.” I reach for Bodie’s shoulders, my grip firm as I try and turn us over. I want things to move faster than this. 

“What’s the hurry?” Bodie teases, resisting my attempt to take control. 

I love my partner focussing totally on me, his concentration visible by the small creases that have formed between his eyes. I reach up to his face and stroke the lines, watching the blue colour of Bodie’s eyes deepen to almost indigo because of his surging desire. The delightful emotional tease my gift feeds across my nerves simply heightens my enjoyment. Bodie moves more quickly through our foreplay, anticipation beginning to sing between us. He silently tells me with his touch that a quickie may lead off our encounter tonight. _I won’t complain either._

We meet for another hungry snog, letting it grow to the point we’re practically eating each other alive. I want this man, always and forever, but particularly right now! A shriek of need explodes from me when Bodie’s hands move ever southward in their march to reclaim territory previously marked by him, reaffirming his connection with me. Hands skim across my belly, brushing across my hips to slide under me until my lover has my bum tightly in both hands. We break from the kiss, both of us panting from lack of air and growing excitement. I feel those hard, capable hands kneed my flesh, stroking lower until he grasps the back of my thighs and pulls my legs apart.

“Yes!” I whisper, my excitement audible, my breath panting fast enough I fear I may hyperventilate. It’s been too long since we’ve had time together. I want everything this man can give me. Now!

My hands have been stroking Bodie’s chest, across his shoulders, and ribs. I want to feel all the power and strength on offer. I’m not afraid anymore. This man is my partner! I pull him over me until he settles comfortably between my legs. The movement causes our pelvises to brush together drawing a deep groan from us both. We begin to hump in rhythm, both of us moving together with the confidence of knowing each other’s likes. 

“Oh yeah, good. I’ve missed this,” I confess, thrusting against Bodie with as much strength as I can bring to bear. A bite around my nipple causes me to buck in surprise. “Oi!” I reach for the dark head, threading my hand through the ebony strands and pull Bodie closer for another strong kiss. The big body surges against me and a groan of pleasure wheezes into my mouth; I attempt to suck the very essence of Bodie into myself.

I whine with impatience because Bodie breaks away from the kiss. A shudder passes through him into me as he begins to slow down the race toward completion. 

“Ray,” Bodie gasps, his eyes locking with mine. “I need more.”

“What?” What’s he saying? I’m so close; I want that delicious pressure back again!

“We need something,” Bodie insists, though his body still continues to tease with short, steady thrusts against my cock.

“Bloody hell, why stop now?” I’m beginning to feel annoyed, that marvellous high, riding so close to orgasm has retreated at the change of tempo. 

“Because I need more. Can you give me that?” 

The expression on Bodie’s face tells the whole story. He’s worried he’s asking too much too soon. Yet, to bring us the emotional closeness we need, he needs penetration. Simple frottage won’t trigger our bonding. 

“Use oil. I’d like to get off before the week’s out,” I grouse. _What’s wrong with taking the edge off?_ A past incident suddenly occurs to me, making me cautious. “We’re not using butter.”

“Ah, come on, Ray. It wasn’t that bad last time we used it.”

I can feel my frown growing at Bodie’s words. He’s trying to manoeuvre me again. “No. I won’t have sex with butter as our lube.” At Bodie’s pout, I bop him on the shoulder, hard.

“Ow, Ray!”

“No. You weren’t the one shitting butter afterwards. Forget it! Oil or lube, your choice.”

“Well, since neither of us packed any lube, I guess it’s oil. Which cabinet do I look in?”

“Left of the cooker.” I control the smirk that’s trying to sneak out. The expression of disgust as Bodie rises from the bed draws a chuckle, which I quickly smother into a cough. I watch my partner stop and look back at me, a neutral expression his only reaction to my slip. 

“You want any relief, you’d better watch that cough,” Bodie drawls, his voice calm, though his penis continues to wave its enthusiasm concerning our forthcoming plans.

“Go right along, my son. That’s a good lad.” I contain the smile struggling to escape. Cor, it’s great to feel alive. A happy laugh squeaks out, earning me another strong look. 

I watch Bodie search the cupboards until he finds the small bottle of cooking oil. He flashes me a grin and holds the oil up in triumph, bringing my smile out into the open. 

“You’re in for it now, sweetheart,” Bodie drawls, doing a piss poor impression of Humphrey Bogart as he swaggers back to the bed.

“Think you can figure out what goes where?” 

“I believe I’ll manage, thank you,” Bodie replies, straight faced, though I can see the delight twinkling within his eyes. 

I do believe Bodie’s missed our banter as much as I have these last few weeks. A radiant glow begins blooming deep inside, warming some of the cold places that have felt so unsettling.

I hold my hand under the bottle, waiting impatiently for Bodie to jerk the cork loose. My palm upward makes my request obvious. I watch Bodie’s smile slowly shine as he tilts the bottle, letting a bit of the greasy fluid dribble across my right hand. Droplets slip between my fingers, dripping onto my groin with a lazy sensual touch. Rubbing my fingers together, I head directly for my lover’s groin and carefully stroke the oil over his rigid member. I can’t resist playing for a minute or two, winding Bodie up with every stroke. I take each down stroke lower until I carefully cup the bulging bag that will very soon give me its contents. 

A strangled moan tells me my talents are appreciated. Maybe they’re appreciated too well, since Bodie grabs my wrist to stop any further motion, pulling my hand away. 

“That’s enough.” Bodie’s voice has dropped deeper in tone, proclaiming his ardour and adding fuel to the fire burning through me.

“Come on, hot shot. Where’s all that control you’re always bragging about?” I tease, rubbing my hands across Bodie’s stomach causing muscles to spasm from the ticklish touch. Wanting more lovely skin to touch, I coast my palms up the planes of Bodie’s chest, spreading oil across more skin until I eventually palm his pectoral muscles. I love touching this man.

“There’s nothing wrong with my control. You’d test a Saturday night whore, looking like you do right now.” 

I hear Bodie’s shaky control in the timbre of his voice. It makes me happy to know I can affect my lover this way. “Ahh, you say the nicest things.” I smile then pull Bodie into another snog. I feel his hand grab hold of mine, stroking across the skin as he spreads the oil across both our hands. I take a deep breath, eager to feel his touch preparing me. _Come on, come on_. My body begins undulating against my lover, touch merging with taste as we enjoy a gentle kiss. I enjoy the sight before me: Bodie, kneeling over me, waiting for a sign from me to proceed. You’d think I had the senses, the way I’m absorbing all the sensations of this important mating. 

“Now who’s hot, hmm?” 

I feel Bodie settling on his heels and watch his grin of delight brighten as I flush in embarrassment. Conflicting emotions scramble through me; the whole sentinel/bonding business confuses the hell out of me. “Get on with it, damn you,” I snap, feeling unsettled, horny, anxious to have this bonding mess over with, and nervy, though I’m not sure why.

“Now, don’t act that way.” Bodie flashes me another bright grin and a chuckle escapes his control. “I happen to like that you react to me like this.” He leans forward and kisses the skin around my belly button, then follows the gentle touch with a swift nip.

“Ow. You hungry or somethin’? What happened to our plans for sex?” I challenge, pulling one hand down to rub at the red spot above my navel.

“In due time, Speedy Gonzales. First things first.” One oily finger traces downward behind my balls, heading for very sensitive skin. 

_Thank God!_ I blow out a breath in relief that Bodie’s finally beginning. Now we’re moving into an area that I do understand.

The touch changes as Bodie exchanges his finger for his thumb, brushing gently across the puckered opening, rubbing the first coating of oil upon my arse. The fingers of his hand curl inward and start massaging across my flesh. I want his touch so much, but he’s still moving too slowly. I flex my thigh and buttock muscles, rising to meet his down stroke and forcing his thumb to penetrate my arse. 

“Damnit, Ray. I’m driving this time, not you,” Bodie complains, his voice shaky with emotion as he lets his thumb sink an inch deeper. 

I close my eyes to enjoy the feeling, a smirk peeking out because I managed to get my way. Cold drops of oil falling around my impaled hole make me shiver. I open my eyes in time to see my lover jam the bottle of oil into the blankets. I hope that stays there. Otherwise we’re kipping in a big mess.

“Oh, Go-d!” I moan, feeling another finger joining the slippery thumb working inside me. My body begins to move in concert with Bodie’s motion. My thought processes begin to short out from the growing pleasure. I’m also beginning to feel more emotion from my mate, his pleasure, his lust, and most important, his happiness sings across our strengthening bond.

“No, just me,” Bodie quips. 

I hear so much within his voice right now. More than I’ve ever heard before.

“Ready for more, sunshine?” 

Bodie shifts position then changes his hand position, replacing his thumb with his middle finger before he carefully thrusts back inside my arse, drawing a sudden gasp from me. My nerves light up with pleasure, overwhelming and bright. _About time._

“Take a deep breath, Ray.” 

I attempt to comply with the request but my breath stutters at the tight, sullen pain that suddenly flares brightly inside my bum. I take another breath, this one deeper and slower, which helps me relax so I’m able to take the third finger Bodie’s introduces as he works at stretching me open.

“Almost there. Take another breath. That’s it, now another one… and here we go.”

Flesh pushes into me, firm and steady. The breath I inhale falters briefly as more pain burns through my body at the intrusion. One more deep breath and I feel another glorious slide of flesh working further inside me. Short steady thrusts meet my clenched muscles, coaxing and massaging compliance as Bodie pushes us both toward complete joining. 

Pleasure grows stronger, overshadowing any remaining pain, filling me with happiness. The more my pleasure and enjoyment mount the more I feel the bond grow between us. Strong feelings of possession flow from my partner, weaving through his love and concern for me. I can see with my mind’s eye, the bond wrapping tighter and stronger between us, our love bringing the strands together into a beautiful cord of emotion. I can’t really describe what I sense; no colour or sensual recital can come close to explaining the process tying Bodie and me together as we race toward orgasm. 

“Damn, sunshine.” I barely hear Bodie groan aloud as he sprints toward the end. Quick thrusts from his hips shoves my lover into spiralling ecstasy. The whirling after-effects bleed through the bond to add the final punch that shoves me into an orgasm of pure feeling. I fade into the white noise of overloaded pleasure.

~~~~~~~~

“Ray?” 

I’m aware of Bodie’s worry, though it’s laced with smug satisfaction.

“Hmm?” I just don’t feel like climbing down from the emotional high our bonding granted me.

“You okay?” 

I’m going to have to do something about the attitude ringing behind those words. _Most definitely smug_. “Yeah,” I reply, my tone light and tension free. I’ll deal with Bodie – later.

A hand strokes down the side of my face, finally stopping at my lips. Fingertips trace across the top and then the bottom lip, lightly enough that it’s distracting me. “Stop it,” I complain, though there’s no heat in my words. I’m too content. The bond’s strong between us, giving me all the information I need to know what’s going on behind my partner’s shields for the first time in our career together. I smile at the thought.

“What’re you smiling for?” Curiosity grows within the happiness flowing from my friend and lover.

“Happy.” Fingers start tracing my lips again. I nip at the skin forcing Bodie to quit.

“Said stop it. Tickles.”

“Bully,” Bodie retorts his tone teasing.

“Am not!” I still haven’t opened my eyes. I’m thrilled to continue to bask in the heat filling me.

“Are.” The voice sounds slightly petulant, though the feelings behind the statement shout my partner’s happiness.

“Am not.” Two can play this game. I crack open my eyes and gaze upon the man lying next to me. _Beautiful._

I watch Bodie pout for a moment, then a gentle smile fills his face. “All right, you’re not – right now.” The smile grows bigger. 

“Idiot,” I sigh fondly, sending my pleasure at all that’s happened to my lover. The happiness multiplies upon him feeling my emotions over the bond. 

I watch Bodie roll closer, pulling me into a long snog. Once we break apart, I lick my lips, grabbing for another taste of him. “That was good.” 

“Want another?” That smile of his will definitely slide under any argument I might want to throw between us. _I’m so screwed. ...And ecstatic about it_.

A kernel of unfinished business whispers to me, drawing my attention away from Bodie. I glance around and notice the stove’s been restocked. That explains the comfortable temperature within the room. Something’s different though. What’s pinging my internal radar? 

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t know. Somethin’s different though.” At Bodie’s satisfied smirk, I clarify my statement. “Not that,” I insist, smiling at my mate. My gift feels controlled, the restraints I struggled with before we bonded totally easy to work with now. I open the gift slightly, searching our surroundings for intruders. Surprise fills me with the discovery that not only has my empathic range greatly expanded, but I can tell that all the SI 6 personnel that had harassed and driven me near to despair were gone. 

“What happened to the kid I tied up earlier?” I don’t feel any trace of the young sentinel I had tied up then left on the cottage floor hours ago either. I look at Bodie and see the mischief flaring within his eyes. I don’t ask him again, just wait until he can’t stand not telling me what he did.

“You’re no fun sometimes,” Bodie complains, though a smile struggles to sneak through.

I continue to wait for my answer. I know he can’t stay quiet for much longer. He’s fairly bursting in his enthusiasm to tell me about the clever solution to our overcrowding issue.

“Hmm! All right. While you were kipping, you know, before we finally bonded. I dragged the kid outside and tossed him down under the trees. And I hope he loved that mud hole when he hit too.”

“Bodie!” I can’t believe he’d do something like that. “That kid’s probably frozen half to death, if he’s not already dead from the cold!”

“No, he isn’t.” Bodie preens as much as a naked man lying pressed up against another man can do.

I stare very intently at my partner, waiting for the answer to my unasked question.

“All right, once I locked the door against the storm, I used this damn gift of mine to listen in as a couple of SI 6 men came down and hauled him back up the hill.” A touch of anger briefly flares within Bodie’s gaze, annoyance clear at the interference the security people caused us.

“Well, that’s okay then.” I grin at Bodie. Just so long as the kid wasn’t killed over this stupid manoeuvring our government tried to catch us in, I’m content.

“Since we seem to be alone, what are we going to do now?” I prod, teasing my mate.

“Oh, I imagine we’ll think of something, don’t you?” Bodie replies. I watch a wicked smile grow until it fills his features.

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” I state and reach forward, grasping warm, firm shoulders. I pull Bodie closer and kiss him, putting everything I feel into the action as I work my tongue into his mouth, tasting him. I can feel Bodie’s total agreement, his emotions matching mine concerning our bond. 

We snuggle under the blankets for more cuddling, kissing, and teasing, hopefully to be followed by a lay down, food, then more sex if I have anything to say about things. I feel Bodie’s total agreement with the suggestions concerning our immediate plans streak through the bond. No more fear looms between us. Even though he still can’t say the words, I know with complete certainty I finally have what I’ve always longed for. My search for home, heart and soul has become totally wrapped up in my contrary, gorgeous partner. Finally neither of us will ever have to be alone again. Things look much brighter for us both, now we have finally joined together, forever.


End file.
